It’s been almost a month since the start of fall and scary movies have been littering the film scene ever since. From “It: Chapter Two” to “Joker” to “In the Tall Grass,” cinemas and streaming sites have been jam-packed with the newest horrifying thrillers, many widely anticipated by typical horror fans.
In light of these new and already critically-acclaimed movies, it would be worthwhile to note some of the lesser acclaimed scary movies out there. Here are my picks for the top five worst horror films found on, you guessed it, Netflix:
Director Travis Zariwny creates a new rendition of the 2002 horror film “Cabin Fever” by Eli Roth. This time, Zariwny doesn’t add a modern twist, but actually somehow makes the plot worse than it already was. Now, I’m not saying the 2002 version was terrible; it wouldn’t even make it on this list. However, in the realm of horror films, Roth’s “Cabin Fever” isn’t exactly a classic.
That being said, I was genuinely shocked when I watched this new 2016 version. Not because I was afraid, not because I was startled and not even because it was gory (even though it was supposed to make me feel all of those things), but more so because I was expecting a good plot about a group of young adults who get stuck in the middle of the woods in a terrifying predicament with their cabin as the only “safehouse.”
Instead, I was met with a half-decent cast acting out a half-decent plot that only obtained a hint of horror when creepy bunny masks were shown on screen.
I am sure that most people reading “Scream” as fourth are upset I would even dare put a classic horror film on this list. But, let’s be real and face the facts; this movie isn’t scary at all, and, in fact, should have never been deemed a “classic” to begin with.
Let’s not forget that this movie was so widely made fun of that a director actually made five others known as the “Scary Movie” films that served one purpose and one purpose only; to make fun of all the “Scream” movies. Between the phone call voice, the ghost mask, the terrible acting and the terrible ending, this movie makes me laugh more than it makes me jump.
I will give director Wes Craven some credit though; it could have scared some people during its initial release period in the late 90’s, and each movie does get a little scarier as they go. That being said, it’s still on my list and Courtney Cox still should have stuck to playing Monica on “Friends.”
“My Teacher, My Obsession”
This next scary movie – if you can even call it that – almost made it to number one. However, after careful consideration, two others managed to surpass it, which I guess says a lot about those. This movie follows a young teenage girl, Riley, who struggled making friends at her new school until, of course, she meets Kyla who, by the way, screams weird stalker the second she appears on screen. Come to find out, Riley’s handsome father works at the same school and, naturally, Kyla becomes creepily obsessed with him.
What did have potential to be a super creepy and eerie stalker movie turned into a lame, cringe-worthy attempt at one instead. The only semi-decent thing about this film was Lucy Loken’s acting as Kyla that did, at one point, give me a light touch of the heebie-jeebies. I will say, however, that 77% of Google users liked this movie, which means I’m either way too judgemental or 77% of people on Google don’t know what a good horror film looks like.
Now, I know that this movie is technically categorized as a horror comedy. I know that it isn’t necessarily supposed to scare your socks off. I know Bella Thorne is in it, so people probably weren’t expecting much anyways. However, with those thoughts in mind, this movie still somehow managed to bore me to death.
It wasn’t even that the acting was bad or the plot was stupid; most of the actors did a decent job and the idea seemed promising. The plot that accompanied this idea, on the other hand, was below average and extremely vanilla. Despite the few comedically steamy comments slung in here and there, everything else was bland and everything that you would expect to happen ultimately ends up taking place.
Even if you weren’t an avid movie plot guesser like I am, it wouldn’t be difficult to understand the entirety of the film before pressing play; Director McG managed to give away everything in the two minute and 27 second trailer. The only reason to spend an hour and 25 minutes of your life on this film would be for Bella Thorne and honestly, is that even worth it?
“Most Likely to Die”
We’re finally at number one. It took a long time to dissect and put together numbers five through two, but this spot was taken the moment I pitched the story idea. Director Anthony DiBlasi thoroughly impressed me with the ability to create the most witless scary movie I have ever come across. In a twisted version of a high school reunion, six old friends get together, of course, in the middle of nowhere to celebrate the best years of their lives.
Among these friends is main character Gaby played by Heather Morris who, as some of you may know, played Brittany in “Glee” back in the day. Morris did a great job as Brittany; what started as a dumb blonde cheerleader progressed into a character of substance that only Morris could have brought to her. Upon knowing this, I assumed this horror film was going to be great.
What appeared to be a mystery killer on the loose terrorizing innocent victims who, apparently, are not so innocent after all, turned into a cliche plot jumbled together with terrible acting and terrible lines. This is the type of horror film where the characters not only see a dead body and barely react to it, but run directly at the killer in an attempt to “get away” as well. If you’re looking for a waste of time, seriously consider watching this movie.
Email Kacey at [email protected] or follow her on Twitter @kaceyconnolly1.