(Screenshot by Kacey Connolly/Amherst Wire)
(Screenshot by Kacey Connolly/Amherst Wire)

“The Beach Bum” scores as the worst movie of 2019

Director Harmony Korine managed to release another dissapointment after "Spring Breakers."

April 11, 2019

In 2012, director Harmony Korine debuted his film “Spring Breakers,” sending quite possibly one of the worst movies into the atmosphere. It’s 2019 now, and he has done it again.

Matthew McConaughey stars in the new production,   “The Beach Bum,” where he takes on the role of the wildly free, weed smoking Moondog. What was once a brilliant man who wrote the greatest poetry novel of his time, becomes a homeless deadbeat that burns out in the Florida Keys while his wife and daughter stay behind in Miami.

What looks like a chaotic coming-of-age film on the surface is actually an astounding disappointment with a cluttered mess of a plot. Korine really outdid himself in the horrible movies realm.

It isn’t necessarily the witless plot or dopey characters that shocked me, but rather the fact that Korine somehow cast a handful of Hollywood’s biggest actors and actresses to star in the movie. Not only does McConaughey, a well-known and profound actor in the industry who has put out great movies in the past, play — for lack of a better word — the dumbest character, but other big names like Jonah Hill, Isla Fisher and even Zac Efron play roles that lack depth, as well.

Isla Fisher, who starred in iconic movies like “Wedding Crashers,” “Now You See Me,” “Confessions of Shopaholic” and “The Great Gatsby,” plays Moondog’s wife, Mini, who not only lacks character development, as they all do, but somehow managed to make me cringe almost every time she spoke. Jonah Hill, who is widely known for the classic comedies “Superbad” and “21 Jump Street” is shockingly boring while obtaining no trace of hilarity throughout the entire comedy.

While the trailer tricks viewers into thinking they’ll be watching Zac Efron on the big screen, as many of us love to do, the actor is actually in maybe 10 minutes of the entire film and really only makes viewers cringe even more as he runs around the beach screaming in ugly baggy jeans claiming his true name is “Tiger,” all while clutching a vape and chucking clouds of smoke into the camera here and there.

The only highlight of the movie was Snoop Dogg, who played a close friend to Moondog and actually managed to make me muster up a few chuckles, and Jimmy Buffett, who appeared on screen for ten seconds, maybe less.

It would have been one thing if the cast and characters were lackluster, but to accompany that with a cheap plot leaves viewers bellyaching for a refund. I don’t think anyone will ever know what Korine’s message was. It could have been to enjoy life, it could have been making fun of millennials and it could have been making fun of poetry. My bet is that there was no point or message at all.

Maybe I’m being harsh, or maybe I lack the insight to see the true depths behind “The Beach Bum.” Or, maybe these Hollywood stars were messing with us and created a pointless movie with a pointless plot for the humor of it. Either way, don’t waste your money, even if it is five dollar movie night on a Tuesday.

Email Kacey at [email protected] or follow her on Twitter @kaceyconnolly1.

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