Blushing, gushing and crushing. Giggling and tingling. Warm fuzzy feelings inside. Anticipation, celebration and relaxation. These are all things we readily associate with Valentine’s Day. Likewise, whether it’s a simple box of chocolates or a luxurious new car, there’s no doubt that receiving a gift is a large part of Cupid’s day too.

However, like all other holidays, Valentine’s Day has become over-commercialized. We are bombarded with advertisements encouraging us to spend money on our partner. Giving gifts is pretty much mandatory if you don’t want to get dumped.

The issue here is that gift giving feels like a chore. Presents are expected on Valentine’s Day and people get upset when their partner doesn’t get them something extravagant.

Valentine’s Day should not be a mere Hallmark marketing ploy nor should it be the sole incentive that motivates couples to get each other presents and wish each other a nice day. People should get their partners gifts sporadically, out of pure unconditional love and not because of a contrived holiday.

Imagine walking back to your dorm tonight and stumbling upon fresh flowers with a note taped to your door that says, “I hope you have a nice day!” A random act of kindness from an unknown person (not even necessarily your boyfriend or girlfriend) on a day that is not Valentine’s Day, is what should really matter. Wouldn’t this sweet gesture be a surprise that you’d want? Shouldn’t you be able to make time to please someone you love on any given day?

While I can’t deny that I am completely thrilled when a guy takes me out for dinner, I can attest to the fact that gifts are not the only thing that make me happy. There are so many other components that go into romance. Spending money on someone is just one single way of showing affection — try out some of these non-monetary methods: 

Words of affirmation: telling your loved one that they are intelligent, kind or beautiful. You can and should praise yourself and be confident about your body, but let’s admit it, there’s something incredibly gratifying about getting a compliment from your significant other.

Physical touch: hugging, kissing, snuggling and cuddling. A chocolate may taste good for a second, but a kiss? Well, that could stick with you for a lifetime.

Spending quality time with someone: going for a long walk on the beach and having a deep conversation. Usually, when you spend significant time somewhere or with someone, it’s because you’re getting paid to do a job. So, someone willingly devoting their precious time to you says a lot. Our time is often worth more than our money. 

Acts of service: going into the kitchen and cooking dinner for your partner, or lending your girlfriend a jacket when she’s cold. Anyone can make themselves dinner, or grab a coat, but there is just something special about getting these things from a significant other.

Why are these are non-monetary methods of love so important? Chocolates, roses and all other material objects are just “things” able to be bought at the drop of a hat. Love is and should be much more than that.  

So everyone, please feel free to enjoy a romantic date any time of the year. You can do better than the annual mid-February retail scam. Try some of the love language methods besides just gift giving, and transform any mundane day into an affectionate celebration!

Email Chanel at [email protected].