It Works for Some People

I always have some sort of safety net
But
It might be closer to a weighted blanket
Scientifically proven to reduce anxiety
For some
For others 20 pounds of microfiber beads wrapped in cotton
Weighs them down like lead bracelets
Wrapped around their wrists
Maybe the safety net is more like a trampoline
When I fall I easily bounce back up onto my feet
But sometimes
When I land on my feet
My ankles buckle beneath my weight
I’m on the surface of the trampoline
My knees and palms rubbed raw by the canvas
And I don’t understand why I ever bothered with a safety net at all

This safety net might be a ball and chain
It cannot catch me when I fall
It keeps me prisoner
On the ground
When this happens
I despise its existence
And I think
This safety net
Does more harm than good

It’s possible the safety net is a literal net
One fishermen use made of nylon woven together
Meant to drag various creatures from the sea
So that we may kill them and sell them and eat them
Which sounds like such a horrible fate
But I am deathly afraid of the ocean
And if I found myself sinking in the water
I would want to be scooped up by tightly woven nylon rope
And dragged aboard

Maybe it’s a thin, light trail of lace draped across my shoulders
Maybe it’s pools of burlap hanging onto my ankles
Regardless
I never leave home without it