Editor’s Note: Introspective Ramblings is Amherst Wire’s poetry column, dedicated to showcasing student’s creative work through a mixture of audio and visual components.

For All the Tears Unshed

With each breath, the weight in my chest is growing. As I stare at the ceiling and count the inhales and exhales, the air worming its way in my protruding rib cage threatens to suffocate its fragile chambers. The pain that you were running from. The fear of loneliness and no one lighting up your phone screen to whisper “goodnight,” now fills the miles between us. I braved your words, disguised in the name of honesty, as they left bullet holes in my mind. Months of broken promises now line our never-shared bed. And I’m not innocent, because I pulled the trigger first when I could tell that you were already out of sight. I was taught young, it’s easier to leave than be left behind. And I can’t stop the regret from pulling me under, the gasps from choked back tears that threaten to thunder. Because I have learned to be okay, living with this pain. And while I believed once that you were different, when the outcome was foretold to be the same.

Email Joanna at [email protected] or follow her on Twitter @JBuoniconti